Saturday, October 30, 2010

Allisyn's first school birthday party, stalking Allisyn. getting over myself

Wow, Allisyn is four and as much as I knew this day was coming, its crazy that it is here. Allisyn came home from school with an invitation on Tuesday to a birthday party. Right away I consented for her to go. I want her to have friends, besides it would be an afternoon where she wouldn't hear me say "just a minute I am with your brother" as he is only almost three months old. So I phoned and thats it, we were going. The guilt of saying no also had an influence. This is a milestone, an entrance into having a social life, one that (gulp) doesnt really include Barry and I.

So it's now Saturday and I am telling my husband that I thought about it, the party is at a bowling alley and she is only 4. Were going. There was no way around it. The gifts were already bought and wrapped. Thoughts ran through my head about the washrooms, what if some wierdo was in there? I don't know these parents, they seemed a bit tpt on the phone. Again she is only 4! So we packed up the baby and took her to the party. Did I fail to mention it was a double. Two cousins who happen to be in her class, 2 gifts, a shared birthday? So we get to the bowling alley, and let her attend the party. I tell one of the mothers that we will be at the bar if there is any problems as we didnt see the point in intruding their party but we didnt want to leave either. So I leave my sweet girl to do as girls do. Watched her put on bowling shoes and found the restaurant with Barry and my son.
Well Barry and I sat there watching from a distance over coffee and pizza. I was glad that I made the decision to stay as the people were as I thought, not unkind, but tpt. My daughter had a great time and I had a great time with my husband. We got to talk, good pizza. Did I mention that I am sure it was not great for my diet? Later we got to bowl. Of course I lost I bowled a whopping 48 while he shot around 190. Embarassed of my score? Nope. I figure my 4 year old probably bowled better but I was entertaining for my husband, and he got to beat me! 

Another crazy thing? I have finally got over myself! I stopped packing formula bottles with me for Connor (in case, in case he wants to nurse and complete strangers in public might be uncomfortable). So I nursed Connor in the bowling alley. I had my cover, was discreet, moved to a quiet area in the restaurant away from others but I still did it, I nursed him out. I am so over worrying about other peoples feelings. I have tried to bottle feed Connor in public but it only makes him whiney, miserable and constipated. So forget the feelings of others, what about my son? I am so over myself. A people pleaser! I dislike breastfeeding in public for other peoples feelings, not because I think my breasts are private or special. I just dread people going omg, shes breastfeeding, whatever! Time to put my son first, if people gasp in disgust, well whatever, dont look. I am over myself, maybe strangers need to get over me too!

1 comment:

  1. What a milestone for Ally!
    And I am proud of you, who CARES what other people think, its your job/right to feed Connor! Before you know it you'll be nursing in a booth at Olive Garden, with little feet hanging in the aisle way (WHO would do that?!)

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